“Too Busy for a Relationship” — Or Just Not Interested in One?

I’ve always found it confusing when people say, “I’m too busy to be in a relationship,” yet still find the time and energy to pursue casual connections with people they don’t care about and don’t see a future with.

If you’re truly busy building your life — your career, your goals, your personal growth — shouldn’t that mean being intentional with how you spend your time?

This isn’t about judging anyone’s choices. We’re all free to live how we want. But I do think we owe it to ourselves to be honest. If someone consistently has time to invest in people they don’t respect, don’t feel emotionally connected to, or don’t want around in the long run, then the issue probably isn’t being too busy for a relationship. It’s more likely that they simply don’t value being in one — and that’s completely okay, if it’s acknowledged.

From a time, energy, and emotional investment perspective, this behavior rarely makes sense. Often, we end up losing more than we gain — our focus, peace, money, TIME, and sometimes even our self-worth.

Some say, “It’s just for fun.” But with everything life has to offer, if quick intimacy is the default form of escape or entertainment, it might be worth asking: What does “fun” really mean? And is it actually fulfilling? Are you really that fun of a person if the only way you know how to enjoy yourself is through other people and fleeting moments of intimacy?

Being busy doesn’t mean being unavailable for love or connection — it means being selective. So if you’re going to invest your time in people during your “busy era,” why not invest it where there’s mutual care, respect, and growth — something that strengthens your character and supports your future?